Chief’s Column: Let’s talk about sexting

When teenagers ask for cell phones, they usually want the coolest, trendiest cell phone on the market. These days, all phones have great photo and video capabilities. Put that together with the unlimited text messaging plan that your teen is sure to beg for and here comes possible trouble. Silly photos and embarrassing videos aside, cameras and texting have given young people a potentially dangerous way to explore their curiosity: SEXTING.

To help those parents who are unfamiliar with the use of cell phones for sexting and explain some of the pitfalls associated with this practice, the Grafton Police Department would like to offer the following useful information provided by Netsmartz. These and other related safety tips may be found at www.missingkids.org/netsmartz/topics/sexting.

HOW TO TALK TO TEENS ABOUT SEXTING: Learn why they do it and what to say about it. As children grow and develop, they become more interested in relationships and sex. While curiosity and exploration are natural, advancements in technology have opened up a new and potentially dangerous way for teens to explore their sexuality: sexting.

Sexting is the sharing and receiving of sexually explicit messages and nude or partially nude images via cellphone. Sexts may be sent as regular text messages or through apps, like Snapchat, Kik and WhatsApp. Teens may sext for a variety of reasons. They may be trying to establish intimacy with a boyfriend or girlfriend, impress a crush, or be funny. Others may feel pressured into sexting by boyfriends or girlfriends who may threaten to break up with them if they don’t send a picture.

THE RISKS:

Teens may not believe or be able to foresee a situation in which the person they send a sext to chooses to share that image with others. However, it does happen and the consequences can be academically, socially and emotionally devastating.

TEENS THAT SEXT MAY: · Get in trouble at school. Teens caught sexting at school have been suspended and removed from athletic teams. · Be ostracized, bullied or harassed within their schools or communities.

· Miss out on future opportunities if the image is seen by college admissions officers or potential employers. · Get into legal trouble. In extreme cases, teens have been charged for sexting images of themselves or other minors.

WHAT CAN I DO? While sexting may not be the most comfortable topic to discuss, it’s still important. Be sure to:

· Clarify your expectations and your family’s values when it comes to sex, relationships and cellphone usage.

· Discuss what characterizes a healthy relationship. Explain that any person pressuring them to sext isn’t someone they should trust.

· Explain how quickly information can spread online. Emphasize that once an image is shared, it is out of their control and can stay around forever.

· Help teens understand the consequences they could face for sending or forwarding images.

· Talk to teens about the importance of not asking for or forwarding sexts. Make sure they understand that forwarding sexting images is a major violation of trust and explain the risks that it poses to the person in the picture.

· Before buying your child a cell phone, set rules for its use, including what sort of information and images are appropriate to share via text.

· Know what safeguards are available on your child’s phone, such as turning off and/or blocking texting and picture features.

· Talk to your child about the possible social, academic, and legal consequences of sexting. They could face humiliation, lose educational opportunities and get in trouble with the law.

· Remind your child that they can talk to you if they receive a nude picture on their cell phone.

· Report any nude or semi-nude images that your child receives to the police.

START THE CONVERSATION! Use these discussion starters to talk about sexting:

· Has anyone ever sent you a sext?

· Has anyone ever asked or pressured you to sext?

· Do you think it’s OK to forward “sexy” images? Why?