Chief’s Column: Is your potential Valentine too good to be true?

Monday, February 14th, is VALENTINE’S DAY and a popular time for people to seek online relationships. For this reason, we would like to once again provide some information and safety tips to individuals seeking to utilize online dating sites. The following information is provided by IC3 and Match.com.

Millions of Americans use dating sites, social networking sites, and chat rooms to meet people. Many forge successful and long-lasting relationships. Unfortunately, scammers and other criminals also use these sites to meet potential victims. They create fake profiles to build online relationships eventually convincing people to send money in the name of love. They may also try to meet with victims for other nefarious reasons.

ONLINE DATING SAFETY TIPS

Protect your finances: Ignore any request to send money, especially overseas or by wire transfer, and report it to us immediately – even if the person claims to be in an emergency. Wiring money is like sending cash: the sender has no protections against loss and it’s nearly impossible to reverse the transaction or trace the money. Never give financial information (such as your social security number, credit card number or bank information) to people you don’t know or you haven’t met in person.

Guard your personal and online access information: Be careful about sharing other personal information, such as your full name, phone number, email and address. You are in control of your online dating experience at all times. Remain anonymous until you feel ready. Also, leave any personal contact information out of your profile or username.

Be Web Wise: Be wary of communications that ask you to act immediately, offer something that sounds too good to be true, or asks for personal information. There are certain red flags to watch for that may indicate you’re dealing with a scammer. Be aware of anyone who…

• Quickly asks to talk or chat on an outside email or messaging service
• Claims to be from the U.S. but currently is traveling, living or working abroad
• Asks you for money
• Vanishes mysteriously from the site, then reappears under a different name
• Talks about “destiny” or “fate”
• Claims to be recently widowed
• Asks for your address under the guise of sending flowers or gifts
• Makes an inordinate amount of grammar and/or spelling errors
• Sends you emails containing strange links to third-party websites

IF YOU DECIDE TO MEET FACE TO FACE:

Get to know the other person before meeting them offline: Before meeting, obtain as much information as possible about that person. This may include typing the person’s name into a search engine, reviewing public information made available by government offices, researching social media sites or using a paid service to obtain a full background report. Research the person’s photo and profile using online searches to see if the image, name, or details have been used elsewhere.

Always meet in public: Meet for the first time in a populated, public location – never in a private or remote location, and never at your date’s home or apartment. It is best not to go back to your date’s home or bring them back to yours on the first date. If your date pressures you, end the date and leave at once.

Tell a friend: Inform a friend or family member of your plans and when and where you’re going. Make sure you have your cell phone with you. You could maybe even tell your family member or friend that you will contact them at a certain time to advise how it’s going just to check in.

Stay Sober: Keep a clear mind and avoid doing anything that would impair your judgment and cause you to make a decision you could regret.

Drive yourself to and from the first meeting: Just in case things don’t work out, you need to be in control of your own ride – even if you take a taxi.

Keep personal items with you at all times: You don’t want to risk having personal information stolen. If you’re drinking, keep your drink with you at all times so it can’t be tampered with.

If you feel uneasy or suspicious about your conversations with someone you met online, trust your instincts and terminate any further contact. Do not hesitate to notify the dating site or the Grafton Police Department.

Normand A. Crepeau, Jr.

Chief of Police